Sunday, July 4, 2010

Putting my (not swollen!) pregnant foot down!

I love being pregnant. 99% of the time. The other 1% of the time is when people are being annoying.

I'm asked how I feel. I respond "oh, my back hurts a little today, but otherwise, I'm good." And the response is "JUST YOU WAIT! It will only get worse before it gets better! You won't be able to sleep at all in a few weeks. I felt like blah blah blah when I was pregnant for whosit."

Ok. Thank you. So next time someone asks, I will say I'm good.

*next time*

"Oh, I feel good! Thank you for asking!" And the response is "OH, WELL YOU WON'T FEEL GOOD FOR LONG! Soon, you won't be able to sleep or poop or eat or move, you'll just be miserable! Enjoy it while you can!"

Ok. Next time, I will just smile and nod.

*next time*

Smiling. Nodding. "JUST WAIT TILL THAT BABY IS BORN! YOU WON'T EVER SLEEP AGAIN! YOU WON'T EVER TAKE A SHOWER IN PEACE. YOU'LL CHANGE SO MANY POOPY DIAPERS AND YOU'LL JUST BREAKDOWN. YOU'LL NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN AND YOUR BOOBS WILL BE SORE FROM BREASTFEEDING AND DON'T PLAN ON EVER DOING ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF AGAIN FOR THE NEXT 18 YEARS!"

Ok. Next time, I will pretend I don't speak English.

*next time*

"To go, please." Oh crap. That won't work.

Why must every question be followed with the woes and trials and tribulations of pregnancy? It's as if every woman who has ever had a baby is some sort of martyr for labor, delivery, and child rearing. I'm not ready to be done being pregnant. I'm ready to meet my daughter, but I love this time. However? I'm getting sick of people telling me how aweful the rest of my pregnancy is going to be, and how aweful it is to have an infant and how aweful it will be to try to be pregnant with a toddler, should that day come (even though the same woman just told me I'll never have sex again).

It makes me just want to be alone. Or with men. Which never happens.

And to top it off, I ended up in the glorious Labor & Delivery Department of my local hospital TWICE last week. And imagine my frustration when the nurse made me differentiate between pregnancies and babies. "Yes, this is my first baby." "No, this is not my first pregnancy, I had a miscarriage last year."

To which she replied "Miscarriage and Pregnancy are one in the same."

So I punched her in the face. With my uterus. And THEN, I went back to work. (What the heck is wrong with me. Duh. Take the day off, moron.)

But really. I just want a day off. A day I don't have to think or worry or deal or blargh.

My time is coming. Sometime in the next 7 weeks, I will get my day off. But I'll be in labor, which will surely be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. And then I'll spend the next 6 weeks not sleeping, with sore boobs, no sex (that one's not a joke), poopy diapers, and begging to take a shower.

But I chose this. I longed for this and prayed for this and would give anything to spend time with my daughter in the middle of the night, and get poop on my hands, and go 3 days without a shower or eating a meal while sitting at a table.

Getting pregnant wasn't a mistake. It was intentional. So please stop trying to make me regret it. It won't happen.

20 comments:

corrin said...

You should talk to my family. Seriously. This is one of the few times I'm not being sarcastic.

No one in my family has ever complained about pregnancy, childbirth, or newborns. They've all had great experiences. Nobody's constipated. Babies sleep through the night. Even my aunt with four kids under 6 years old showers regularly.

It's all rose colored glasses in our family! :-)

corrin said...

Also (and I can't believe I forgot this). Your universal response should be a friendly smile accompanied by "suck it."

@PickledJenny said...

I love this post! It's funny and so true. I'm a happy-go-lucky kinda gal and I loved being pregnant (minus morning sickness) both times. I think it all just comes down to perspective and the view from where you're sitting is one of hope and desire and a lot of prayer. You wanted this so badly and now you're going to soak up every minute of it, back aches and all. I love your "nu-uh, not gonna do it" attitude. And I would've punched that nurse in the face with my uterus too!!!

meganboley.com said...

Seriously! It makes me not want to leave the house. If someone does the howyadoingJUSTWAIT crap to me one more time, I will take your cue and punch them in the face with my uterus.

Good luck in the last 7 weeks!

Sarah Halstead said...

So so funny and true! I am sorry you are going through this. It was the worst part of my pregnancy. :) I loved being pregnant and I love having a newborn. All those people that tell you that are just jealous because they hated being pregnant and hate having to wake up at night. I got tired of hearing that crap over and over again.

Hoping for a good rest of your pregnancy and not too many more of the just wait crap.

Stam House said...

Oh dear! some people are just clueless, yes pregnancy and motherhood come with it's share of pain but the joy is way better then the pain :-)

Anonymous said...

Truly you will never be the same..but you will love your new life--i guarantee it!! your heart will explode with love for that little girl your carrying,,,what i tell every one "its never as bad as you're thinking" ignore all the morons who feel like they have to ruin this wonderful time for you,!!

Mrs Soup said...

OH man, people are stupid. I always interrupted when people started getting negative with "Thank you for your concern, but my baby can hear you. We'd like her to think positive thoughts. So please, only positive comments. Thanks!"

That usually got people to shut up.

Oh, and labor? Was AMAZING to me. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

I think your pregnancy,the infant,the toddler stages will/should be a dream. It is the 16 - 20 year stage that you will cry to your momma about. I hope I am still here to hear it. If there is one thing I have taught you - it is to keep on keeping on.
Can't wait to hold her and fix you and Aaron a meal.
Love,
Mom/Ma

~Mendie~ said...

i would have punched her too...what a horrible thing to say, even not having experienced either of those, I am drastically aware of the differences. moron.

I would love to see the expression on their face when you say "I can't wait!" to one of their woe-is you comments. Keep enjoying every minute and poo on those who try to spoil it for you!

Devon said...

LOVED this post!

as someone whose had 4 premature babies (2 of whom died) i would give ANYTHING to feel all those aches and pains so on the flip side, i get so annoyed when women go on and on....so i so feel your frustration!

being a new mom doesn't have to be awful. i think you will be quite awesome! enjoy!!

Steph said...

SOOO true! While I have yet to be a mommy (one day!) I can only imagine the bad is worth the absolute wonderfulness that is holding your baby!

Anonymous said...

Don't let the goofballs get you down! I never listened/believed any of the negative comments because I knew it would be my own experience that mattered. And I can tell you, that I loved every minute of it. You will be tired, but you will lay eyes on your beautiful daughter and you will get energy anew! It's all worth it, and I believe that there are people in life that have something negative to say about ANYTHING!!!

Jenni

Elaine A. said...

People don't think before they speak sometimes and they love to talk about the bad stuff hoping you'll join in. You know, 'misery LOVES company'! Yes, being a new mother IS stressful, let's not lie but it's also probably THE most beautiful thing EVER. Focus on the positive just as you are. Of course you'll have sex again and will have time to yourself if you make it. And, the poop on your hands. Well, that's what they make soap for! :)

Thanks for putting this out there!!

Rachel said...

The same happened to me and you know what...I never was miserable! A few days towards the end I was tired and didn't have as much energy but all in all it was a easy and amazing pregnancy! So many people just talked about the negatives of pregnancy and a baby...frequently mentioning the lack of sleep (and we've been blessed with a fabulous sleeper!) Sure he cries and demands attention but it is so worth it!! There is nothing like being a mommy!! (And you know what, I think it bothers people when you tell them you're feeling fabulous at 39 weeks pregnant!) :)

Shelly said...

I just came across your blog from a link at "the r house" blog. I just wanted to tell you congratulations! As an infertile woman myself, I absolutely cringe when I hear women complaining about something I would give almost anything to experience. I am very happy for you that you get to experience it and that you are enjoying it, every step of the way! Best of luck to you , and I will check back to read news of your precious little ones arrival. I, myself, have an 18 month old son whom I adopted through foster care. I met him when he was three weeks old, and I will NEVER forget the feelings that washed over me the first time I held him in my arms. I am very excited for you that you will get to experience that soon. Congratulations again!!

Shan said...

Oh my goodness, so true! My sister is pregnant right now and always says things about how miserable it is but she doesn't know I would just kill to be there.

designHER Momma said...

"Getting pregnant wasn't a mistake. It was intentional. So please stop trying to make me regret it. It won't happen. "

word. it's awesome and horrible all at the same time. you will love it. seriously.

Liz Baker said...

Would you believe that I've been working on this exact same blog post in my mind for MONTHS?! It was so annoying during pregnancy (and for the record, once I discovered Zantac, I slept through the night all the way until Annelise was born).

Ironically, JUST WAIT, because if you have a good baby, the haters will just get worse. People tell me all the time how either A) Annelise is going to be a terrible toddler or B) My next baby is going to be an awful baby. I seriously just stare at them because A) Do you really not like your own kids that much? and B) WHY WOULD YOU EVER WISH A BAD BABY ON ANYONE???!!!

Thank you for letting me vent my frustration here.

Sweet Harper said...

Yep, everyone has their story and everyone feels they need to share it. Almost there! Oh, and by the way...3 days without a shower??? That's be nice. LOL