Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Trust me, it is unreal to me most days, this peace that overwhelms me. But it is not easy. I worry that once I say "I'm good, thank you", I won't be able to go back to "I'm okay today" or "I'm having a hard day".
I know these things are not true. I know that it's okay to take a step back. But I'm afraid that once I say things are good, I'm good, people will forget. And think it's okay for us all to just move right along and pretend nothing ever happened. And not understand the next time I have a hard day (and I know that day will come).
I want to feel good. I've prayed to feel peace and I know you've prayed for it also. Thank you.
Promise me that you'll understand one good day doesn't mean another. And that feeling "good" doesn't take away the bad. Promise me that when I say things are good, you won't forget.
I'm so scared you'll forget.
Monday, September 28, 2009
My friend Clair runs a very informative website on saving money! Whether you want to save so that you can quit your job to stay home with the kids, save for a vacation, or just have more shoes, Clair's shopping tips can help!
She doesn't expect you to take hours a week clipping coupons, so she links to the best deals around! I have saved a considerable amount of money this year on body products, make-up, and items for around the house. By combining coupons and store deals, I managed to pick up 4 bottles of name brand body soap for $.27 each in 2 shopping trips taking a total of 10 minutes! That's a HUGE deal!
Clair is starting a video series called "How to slash your grocery bill" and I encourgage you to check out her site. The best way to benefit from her program is to sign up for her email update. (She sends out one email a day highlighting all of the deals on her blog, and she doesn't send spam.) At the end of the series, she will be having giveaways that you DO NOT want to miss!
So, what are you waiting for? Go to Clair's site, Mummy Deals, and sign up for her email update. Then send her an email and tell her I sent you! You'll be glad you did!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I posted there today, and hopefully will get back in the swing of things soon!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Our stories are similar, but not the same. Never the same. It was my first baby, my mother's third and fifth, my grandma's fourth. Never the same.
I was nearly 11 weeks, she was further. She held her baby, and then released him to Jesus.
Never the same.
There is a loss that brings old friends together. A loss that brings new friends into our lives.
But the ties that bind are strong. There is compassion and love and immediate friendship. A connection beyond ourselves, and we know who brings us together. Our Angels bring us together.
A shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. A friend to call on in the darkness. She has been there, He understands, They know. Our stories are never the same, but yes. They are so much alike.
Longing, then loss. Grief and coping. Living, despite the pain.
We are united, and together we stand.
*Should you be here today because you too are a member of this club, I am so sorry. You are always welcome here, please email me if you'd like to talk.
Monday, September 21, 2009
We went to a nearby park, and saw lots of amazing flowers, which I had to capture.
After the awful dreams I've been having, I needed that butterfly.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Gosh, it was good to be a Toledo Rocket!
Is that a child's hair tie you're wearing? Why, YES, it is! Thank you for noticing!
Oh, and, are you wearing a sweatshirt around your waist?
Yes! I am! Good observation!
(Currently looking for waist. If anyone finds it, let me know)
Oh, hai. It was wear "different shades of blue" day.
Not surprisingly, these girls called me "Casper" and even scratched out the label on my make-up (Ivory) and wrote over it (Dead). Yes. At church camp.
Just you wait. Next week, I'll scan in pictures from HIGH SCHOOL. YEEEEEE!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
And I want you to read her post titled Translation. Because I couldn't have said it better myself. Her words are so accurate. So painfully beautiful. So....perfect.
Please send her support and love.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Back in 2004, I was introduced to a guy named Ryan. We began dating, long-distance, and broke up just a few short weeks later. It just wasn't meant to be.
Shortly after, Ryan began dating Jes. She came to work at the company we both work for, and we began a friendship. Aaron came to work for our company soon after, and then we were married and the four of us were friends and we fast forward a bit to the summer of 2008.
Just weeks before her wedding to Ryan, Jessica learned she has suffered a miscarriage. She hadn't known that she was pregnant, but this news was devastating to her. She'd been told years ago that she may not be able to have children. To know that she had conceived, and then miscarried, was a heartbreaking loss.
When I announced my pregnancy, Jes was one of the first to tell me how excited she was for me, and how she would pray that things would go well for us. After announcing the miscarriage, Jes would send text messages out of the blue to say "hi" and see how I was doing.
And then she announced her pregnancy. And I couldn't have been happier for her! Truly, I have nothing but love and best wishes for her. Just because I'm not pregnant doesn't mean other women shouldn't be! (She's currently almost 8 weeks along!)
Anyhow, last week Jessica asked me if I would like her to come over and plant a flower in memory of the baby. I am not an outdoorsy girl, and have a hard time keeping plants alive (which she is well aware of), but Jes is a pro. She stopped by with a mum, one of my favorite plants because it mean's Fall, and got to work.
Then she pulled three stones out of her purse. Stones from her house, that she had painted for me.
She painted the "remembrance" and "love" stones to be placed by the flower.
She painted the "trust" stone for me to hold onto. To trust the Lord, to trust myself, to trust that one day, it will all make sense. It sits in a special place in our house, where I see it many times a day. It reminds me not only of trust, but of friendship.
A friendship that was unlikely, and yet, perfect.