Thursday, October 29, 2009

Who has the chocolate?

I am overly emotional at other's pregnancy annoucements. I was when I was trying to get pregnant, but now that I'm not anymore, those annoucements are even harder to read.

I don't have anything against pregnant woman, and I genuinely wish wonderful, uncomplicated pregnancies for them all. I have, and always will, think that pregnancy is a true miracle, and a pregnant body is amazing and beautiful.

I'm trying to be happy for the women in my life who are pregnant, because I want them to be happy for me too. It's just hard. And it makes me wonder if hearing that I was pregnant was hard for other women. I'm sure it was, and I'm sorry if I flaunted it or rubbed it in.

The thing is, I KNOW this is bad. I KNOW I shouldn't feel this way. I KNOW this is selfish.

But it's still so hard. So, so hard.

**************

I had my appointment today, and am thankful for all your prayers. The doctor said everything looked okay, but we will know for sure when the test results come back.

This post is overly emotional. I can only apologize. And go eat chocolate.

8 comments:

*Lissa* said...

You know what? I think we all have those feelings at some point in our lives, some maybe for different reasons...

It's okay. Don't feel bad for what you are feeling!

I sincerely hope your test results are what you are hoping for and that things only get better from here on out!

~Mendie~ said...

Enjoy your chocolate and don't apologize for your emotions...its natural to be confused and sad and happy and nervous...that's the joy of being a woman.

Keeping you in my thoughts for good test results.

Fertility Chick said...

What you've said is honest, real, and 100% human. I've felt similar feelings myself - I still do.

I don't think you should apologize for feeling what you feel - this is hard - and it, for lack of a better word, sucks.

Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping your test results come back with good news.

JayBee said...

I feel you. It seems like every day someone else I know is annoucning that they're either pregnant or their baby is born. And each time it happens, the more I feel alond....the more I feel like I'm the only one without a child. Which I know it isn't true...but as much as I try to stay positive, it's still hard.

Johanna said...

Been there, done that. Still doing it, even though I'm pregnant. And I worry too, about flaunting my pregnancy amidst the still TTC crowd. I know the pain and sadness and disappointment that comes with an empty womb. I'm so sorry. I hope your test results are positive, and you'll be making your own announcement soon.

Mrs Soup said...

I would be worried if you didn't feel those feelings. Because that is real and human. I'm continuing to send you prayers for peace. It will be difficult, but you will get there.

Summer Willard said...

It is completely normal to feel the way that you are feeling. Do not feel bad about it at all. It's not selfish, it's just real. I hope that you get to feeling better....and yes, you should for sure eat chocolate. Chocolate ALWAYS helps. Or, that is what I have convinced myself of. ;)

Bacardi Mama said...

Being honest and real about your feelings is never anything to be apologizing for. I think you deserve some really good chocolate!