Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Tears Just Keep Coming

Tomorrow is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. As I sit tonight and try to find the words to express what I'm feeling, I come up short. I miss my baby. It's just not fair. To never feel her move, to never hear his heartbeat.

But on the day I should be entering my 22nd week of Pregnancy, I will stand united with the hundreds of thousands of parents who have lost their babies. The statistics are staggering; the heartache breath taking. Our babies are gone and we will never be the same.


I will forever cherish the weeks I spent with our baby growing inside of me. I will forever remember the day we lost that miracle. My heart will never be the same, my family never complete. But there is hope and I know this. The joy comes in the morning!

I know some of you come here and don't comment and that's okay. But today, if you feel safe (and I truly hope you do), please leave a comment in honor of your baby. Your babies. You can comment anonymously if you wish.

I cannot express the difference you all have made in my life, and I would be honored to pray for you and for your lost children. I will be on my knees for you tomorrow and in the coming days and weeks. You have my word.

My name is Natalie Cline and I lost my first child to miscarriage at 10w4d on Monday, July 27, 2009.

23 comments:

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I'll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow.

~love said...

hope you feel surrounded with love and peace now...and tomorrow. i'm so thankful that you know when your true joy will come. i can't imagine trying to walk a road like this without faith. praying for you.

Michele said...

Hi Natalie... I'll remember your precious baby tonight as I remember mine.

I lost my first baby to miscarriage in 2001.

I lost our twins, Nicholas and Sophia, to severe prematurity in Feb 2008.

I lost our 4th baby to miscarriage in June 2008.

I lost our son, Alexander, to severe prematurity in Nov 2008.

I lost our 6th baby to miscarriage in Feb 2009.

Remembering all of them and your baby too today.

~Mendie~ said...

My heart aches for any mother or father who has lost a child today even more then normal.

Prayers for continued healing for something that will never really be far away from your heart.

*Lissa* said...

Sending love to you and all who have lost a child.

XOXO

RHCP said...

Nov 5, 1988. Lost my first child to miscarriage after 12 weeks. I remember still and will never forget.

Erin said...

As always, you are in my prayers.

livinginagirlsworld said...

Thank you for being so brave through your pain. You are in my prayers.

I lost my first pregnancy at 12 weeks in October 1999 and after 2 healthy babies lost another at almost 13 weeks in July 2004.

JayBee said...

Thanks for your comment. It looks like it happened fairly recently to you too. Prayers for you and to all of us with angel babies.

Mimi's Toes said...

I pray for peace for you and all of the other beautiful mothers who lost their precious babies.

Sara Joy said...

My name is Sara Joy.
Our first baby, Joel James was born on June 9, 2009 and died June 13, 2009.
Nothing will ever be the same.

Aunt Becky said...

Always praying. Always remembering. Always.

therootofallevel said...

your words are beautiful.

we lost our baby jonny evel on september 18th, 2009. he was our first baby i hope he knows how much he has changed my life.

i will be remembering your baby today too.

Anonymous said...

To my two sweet babies I never got to meet; Mommy and daddy love you so so muc and still think of you all the time. Mommy talks about you too. It is still too painful for daddy. He loved you both so so much. I know I had to let you go, that this life on earth would have been imperfect, but that your life in baby heaven is more than perfect. I cannot wait to see you both someday. Dont ever forget.. Mommy and daddy love you and ALWAYS WILL..

Amy T

Julia said...

I'm Julia and I lost my son, John, at 17 w 4 days on April 7, 2009. We are trying for *normal*, but will never forget.

Anonymous said...

Our first babies, twins, died at 10 wks. on 8/1/96, then we had to go through a D&C to ensure my health and safety on 8/15/96. Even 13 years and 4 healthy, full-term babies later I will never forget. My prayers are with you and all the rest of us mourning parents out there.

mommaof4wife2r said...

praying for you...and i too had a miscarriage, but very early on. i had secondary infertility...then at 40 and 2 addition kiddos thru adoption, i got pregnant with sofia...scared to death, preeclamptic, diabetic sofia was premature but survived and is 21 months now...so i honor all those who have lost babies...it makes me sooo sad...and i pray for all of their families and for strength and peace and wholeness...thank you for doing this.

Em said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I just came across your blog tonight, while surfing around.

I will remember your baby as I am remembering mine.

Mrs Soup said...

Sending you prayers for peace. I have only been pregnant once and received a beautiful baby from it, but many many women in my life have not been so lucky.

Anonymous said...

I would like to remain Anonymous because not many people were told about my situation, but I lost my 2nd child which turned out to be twins on December 4th, 2008. My life will always feel empty even though I have my 1st child with me still, I feel like I should of had my twins a few months ago, I feel like I did something wrong to make this happen to be but at the same time I feel so much hope that my life will consist of more children, hopefully soon and yours will too. I love you natalie and I think about you and your husband and child everyday when I think of my babies being gone :(

Philippa Gordon said...

I lost my baby at 7 weeks. It was my first pregnancy after ttc for 2 years. I would have been over 5 months now and it is still very raw and upsetting for me especially as so many others around me are pregnant now. I will never forget. I am trying for another baby but having no luck as yet :( Hope all of us here can be strong. Much love to anyone going through the same thing. Philippa xxx

Alisha said...

Natalie,
I know some readers post a comments, while others are not emtionally ready too (and may not ever be ready.) I have referred a few friends to read your site and they seem to take comfort in knowing that they are not alone in their situations. Thank you for posting so honestly and providing resources for handling the grief.

Steve and Tami, etc... said...

Very late in seeing this - but wanted to say thanks for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my second baby - Hannah Jane - at 23 weeks 8.1.09. Her twin, Eden Olivia, was born at 24w2d and was released from the NICU on 11.13.09. Praising God for that, but daily remembering the other smiling babe that should be here too.
I have been reading "Safe in the arms of God" by John MacArthur - a friend that went though loss gave it to me, and I must say the truth in that book has put air in my lungs on the hard days.